Hermanas de Zion

Alright, so Fast Sunday seems to be becoming a lot more meaningful to me than it ever used to be....which is a good thing.  I've been praying for that for a while; for reasons to fast, to see the benefits of my fasts, things like that...  and it seems like just about every Fast Sunday now I come up with stuff I want to blog about.  unfortunately, it always happens while I'm in church and I can't blog about it until I get home, so a lot of times I forget or I'm not quite as in-tune as I was previously, or something like that...  so here's my attempt at blogging what was in my mind 12 hours ago.

Our lesson was on "The Purpose of Relief Society"...  which, when I heard it, I immediately wanted to go home and go back to sleep, because I wasn't feeling well anyway...  but Leilani and I needed each other today, so I stayed.  The big question was "how has relief society helped you?" or something to that effect...  Tina, our RS President, put us into groups of about 6 and asked us to discuss what RS has done for us and to come up with something to share.  This was the first time my brain had really worked all day, because I woke up at 7:35 and church was at 8, and then right at the start of Sacrament Meeting, a really good friend of mine told me that he and his girlfriend got engaged Thursday night.  At that point, my brain literally stoppped, and I didn't get anything out of church or anyone else for the next two hours.  That's a different story.  Anyway, back to RS.

No one in my group was really saying much, so I shared the little bit of mind vomit I had...which was that I tend to feel a lot closer to the sisters in my ward, as a whole, than I do to most of the other girls on campus.  The girls that I make friends with who are in my ward are generally the better friends of mine that I have, and so I shared about how I thought that RS brought us closer together as friends and sisters, and in this place where we are all so far from home, we are all each other has, and how RS is really good at being a comforting place.  Everyone agreed, because that's what everyone does, and then we were supposed to find scriptures that kind of backed up what we had to say...  I suggested Moses 7:18, because it talks about the people of Zion being of one heart and one mind, and it just seemed to kind of fit what we were talking about...  and then I thought of the hymn, AS SISTERS IN ZION.  I opened up my hymn book to it and kind of read over the lyrics, and then I looked at the scripture references on the bottom...  Galatians 6:2, 9-10 and D&C 11:12-14.

Galatians 6:2, 9-10

2.  Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

9.  And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

10.  As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

D&C 11:12-14

12.  And now, verily, verily, I say unto thee, put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good--yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously; and this is my Spirit.

13. Verily, verily, I say unto you, I will impart unto you of my Spirit, which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy;

14.  And then shall ye know, or by this shall you know, all things whatsoever you desire of me, which are pertaining unto things of righteousness, in faith believing in me that you shall receive.

#309 As Sisters in Zion

As sisters in Zion, we'll all work together; The blessings of God on our labors we'll seek.  We'll build up His kingdom with earnest endeavor; We'll comfort the weary and strengthen the weak.

The errand of angels is given to women; And this is a gift that, as sisters, we claim: to do whatsoever is gentle and human, to cheer and to bless in humanity's name.

How vast is our purpose, how broad is our mission, If we but fulfill it in spirit and deed.  Oh, naught but the Spirit's divinest tuition can give us the wisdom to truly succeed.

I think this all hit me a little harder than usual today because of Thomas' engagement...  One of my friends has a pretty intense history with her feelings for him, and she doesn't completely understand (as most of us don't) quite what's going on.  I had a situation similar to hers just happen to me in the last few months...  There was a boy I truly thought I was going to marry...and I had imagined myself married to him for three years... and all of the sudden he was engaged to someone else, and in 6 weeks he will be married.  Anyway, I don't even really know how to explain exactly what hit me from this lesson...  I think it was one of those at-the-moment revelations that wasn't meant to last...because now my mind vomit isn't really meaning much, and nothing's really flowing....  The Galatians scripture hit me a little harder than the D&C one because Mom raised me with her favorite quote being "what are we here for if not to make life better for someone else?"...  and this entire situation with me, Thomas' engagement, my friend's heartbreak, and today's lesson all just made me realize a major fulfillment of my Patriarchal Blessing...  which I'm not going to post on the internet.... but suffice it to say, my entire life makes a lot more sense now...  I'm still as confused as heck, but it's a little better...  I've kind of come to realize what an example and anchor I have to be for everyone around me, and that I have to go through a lot of trials in order to be that anchor.  I kind of feel more prepared now.  My Blessing is very very similar to my mothers, and I see how that Blessing has been fulfilled in her life, and that gives me a sort of guide as to how to do what the Lord wants me to do.  

That was not nearly the discussion I was hoping to produce, but at least my mind is empty now. Sorry it smelled bad.

Today's Testimony

For now I kind of wanted to focus on Fast Sunday and my testimony and some of the things I have learned since I started college at the University level....then I got distracted by my life...so I divided it into two posts.

I was writing letters to a couple of friends on missions today and I realized I haven't really ever recorded my testimony of anything for anyone to read....and I rarely bear my testimony in Sacrament Meeting because...well, I don't know why.

Today was particularly cool for me because I've been going through all of this....junk....recently, and since it was Fast Sunday my purpose for fasting was particularly meaningful. I started my fast by prayer, duh, and just told Heavenly Father everything I was concerned about and everything that was going on (as if he hasn't heard my prayers over the last several weeks! haha) and what I needed help with and what I need answers to and everything... and I decided what my biggest problem was and dedicated my fast to that specifically, along with the other stuff "on the side"

My ward starts at 8:00am this year. I'm in the BYU Hawaii 18th Ward - A Temple Attending Ward, for which I'm very grateful. Anyway, I noticed how, the entire day today, it did NOT seem at all like 9:00 in the morning... I felt very awake and very aware of everything that was gonig on and everything that was said. Testimony meeting was really great, as was sunday school and relief society.... but my favorite part was how ALL DAY there was absolutely nothing on my mind besides church and the Lord. None of the stuff that has been clouding my mind for the past months had any place at all. It was just completely gone. I actually enjoyed church for more than just the social aspect, for the first time in quite a while. I never went inactive, because I always had faith that church was where I was supposed to be, but for a long time it has just been going through the motions.

So here's the testimony I have been focusing on today as I've been writing letters...

College life has not been treating me like a princess, but I have loved it nonetheless. It has been an invaluable experience I know I will never forget. I have experienced lots of confusion, loss, emotional turmoil and potentially major health problems...but I know that if I continue to remain true to the Lord and the knowledge I have that I will make it through. At present, I am on a reduced credit load and making up last semester's classes. I am on a few medications and medical experiments and probably will be having a procedure done in the next month for my stomach, but I am enjoying life as much as possible and I trust in the Lord, that He will help me. My testimony and knowledge has grown SO much, it's hard to believe. I am loving my earthly experience and I'm so grateful for all the Lord has blessed me with. BYU definately has a rather Mormon effect on me....

What's particularly amazing to me is that I nevver imagined I would ever be accepted to school here at the H, and yet here I am. I am so incredibly grateful and know I am immensely blessed to be awarded this opportunity, it's hard to een fathom. I have friends from literally ALL OVER the world, and friends from lands I didn't even know existed. I have learned a lot about who I am in a land that truly cares about me, and I have lived in a place of healing. There is so much ab out this blessed place that is incredibly uique, and so much that I NEVER could have fully learned or experienced anywhere else. This place and these people are a testament to the Book of Mormon and the love God has for His children Just as He brought Nephi to the Americas, He brought people to this isla, this tiny tiny part of the world, and I am convinced those people were faithful and righteous. There is NO OTHER WAY this land could be as blessed and peaceful and as close to God as it is.

I know this is the true Gospel of Jesus Christ and that everything it has ever taught me is true...No matter what I go through, I will have my Savior by my side, and I know He loves me. His Atonement is real. This life is all about the basics - I'm so happy about that! I have no idea where I'm going or what I'm doing in this life, but I know that He does and I have faith that He will guide me.

I'm going to go to dinner now, hopefully I'll be able to continue it later.

Mi Vida

I've been ridiculous for the past 7 months and not kept this thing up-to-date...at all...

But I felt like I wanted to post something today, updating everyone who reads this on the past 7 months of my life, but lately I have been going through a lot of....we'll call it confusion, for the sake of not using inappropriate words.

Beginning last Fall semester, I really started to ask myself where I am going in life and what I'm going to do. I picked ICS as my major, then realized I had not a clue what I'd do with it, so I switched to TESOL, hoping I'd end up in some fascinating non-American place, like Thailand. At the end of that semester, I decided I was going home and not coming back for Winter...and I prayed really hard about it and I felt like it was a good decision. So I did it. 24 hours after I got home, I wanted to be back in Hawaii so bad, it was incredible. At that point, I never felt more confused in my life. I know my Heavenly Father answers prayers, and I thought I had gotten my answer....but apparently not. I could NOT stay at home that winter, so I came back. Well, I guess I figured out why I was not supposed to be here, because I got really sick and had to end my semester early anyway...and 7 months later, I'm STILL paying for it.

Since December, I've had serious problems having faith in myself and my ability to receive answers to prayer. I know the answers come, I just have big problems receiving and understanding them. This led to me basically not reading my scriptures or praying at all. I would every once in a while, but it was really hard for me to remember and even if I did it was half-hearted, short and I didn't get anything out of it. It's been that way for way too long. So when I moved back here two weeks ago, I promised myself I was going to pick that up again, and not only pick it up, but read my scriptures 30 minutes a day like President Hoyt asked us to. I've been doing really good at it, getting up early every morning, studying for 30 minutes before I even start my day. I'm really glad about that, I feel a lot better.

However, I've also started developing emotional problems. I get stressed out extremely easily, and then my medical condition acts up, and then I don't have the ability to cope with it all, so I just start freaking out. I'm always on the edge of tears, I never understand anything, I am in a constant state of (pretty much) confusion and at a loss in regards to everything, and 100% overwhelmed at the tiniest little things...and I can be extremely irritable without any notice at all. They tell me it's called DEPRESSION and they've put me on a medication. I hate medication. They've also told me I need to start seeing a counselor. I hate counselors and I hate the idea of telling someone about all my problems. I'd rather just fix them myself and move on. Apparently that's not good enough for them.

Now I'm not even a TESOL major because I'd rather do TESOL EDUCATION and I don't want to do that because I don't have the stamina or the determination to double-major in anything. I'm still lost and confused. I'm thinking of transferring to Provo in the Winter or at least by next Fall, because they have more majors there...which is terrifying because I do not like Utah, and Provo scares the beejeebees out of me and I do NOT want to go to a school of 30,000 people and a campus that takes 45 minutes to walk across... But as much as I love this place with every fiber of my being, I kind of feel like I've gotten all I wanted or needed out of here. Which is funny because I don't know what I wanted or needed in the first place... and I still don't have any educational goals for my life because I don't even have a clue as to what I would like to do professionally.

My problem is this: everything I want to do, I don't want to go to school for. Everything I want to go to school for, I don't want to do. It's a predicament, let me tell you. I hate it. But I trust that I'm being molded into something. I'm being taught something, which I probably won't recognize until 20 years from now... but I have faith that there is a reason behind my suffering.

Near-Extinct Whistling Language Returns

I got this in my linguistics class on the first day, and I thought it was absolutely fascinating. I wish I could learn Silbo! I want my brother to serve his mission over there so he might find an excuse to be exposed to it and pick up a little bit of it.

=================================================================

This article was written by Sarah Andrews, Associated Press Writer.

SAN SEBASTIAN, Canary Islands - Juan Cabello takes pride in not using a cell phone or the internet to communicate. Instead, he puckers up and whistles. Cabello is a "silbador," until recently a dying breed on tiny, mountainous La Gomera, one of Spain's Canary Island soff West Africa. Like his father and grandfather before him, Cabello, 50, knows "Silbo Gomero," a language that's whistled, not spoken. and can be heard more than two miles away.

This chirpy brand of chatter is thought to have come over with early African settlers 2,500 years ago. Now, educators are working hard to save it from extinction by making schoolchildren study it up to age 14.

"Silvo" (from the Spanish verb "silbar"), meaning to whistle, features four "vowels" and four "consonants" that can be strung together to form more than 4,000 words. It sounds just like bird conversation and Cabello says it has plenty of uses. "I use it for everything: to call to my wife, to tell my kids something, to find a friend if we get lost in a crowd," Cabello said.

In fact, he makes a living off Silbo, performing daily exhibitions at a restaurant on the island of 147 suare miles and 19,000 people.

A snatch of dialogue in Silbo is posted at http://www.agulo.net/silbo/silbo.mp3 and translates as follows:

- Hey Servando!
- What?
- Look, go tell Julio to bring the castanets.
- Ok. Hey, Julie!
- What?
- Lili says you should go get the kids and have them bring the castanets for teh party.
- Ok, Ok, Ok.

Silbo was once used throughout the hilly terrain of La Gomera as an ingenious way of communicating over long distances. A strong whistle saved peasants from trekking over hill and dale to send messages or news to neighbors.

Then came the phone, and it's hard to know how many people use Silbo these days. "A lot of people think they do, abut there is a very small group who can truly communicate through Silbo and understand Silbo," said Manuel Carreiras, a psychology professor from the island of Tenerife. He specializes in how the brain processes language and has studied Silbo.

Since 1999, Silbo has been a required language in La Gomera's elementary schools. Some 3,000 sutdents are studying it 25 minutes a week--"enough to teach the basics," said Eugenio Darias, a Silbo teacher and director of the island's Silbo program. "There are few really good silbadores so far, but lots of students are learning to use it and understand it," he said. "We've been very pleased."

But almost as important as speaking--sorry, whistling--Silbo is studying where it came from, and little is known. "Silbo is the most important pre-Hispanic cultural heritage we have," said Moises Plasencia, the director of the Canary government's historical heritage department. Little is known about Silbo's origins, but an important step toward recovering the language was the First International Congress of Whistled Languages, held in April in La Gomera. The congress, which will be repeated in 2005, brought together experts on various whistled languages.

Silbo-like whistling has been found in pockets of Greece, Turkey, China and Mexico, but none is as developed as Silbo Gomero, Plasencia said. Besides, says Cabello, it's good for just about anything except for romance: "Everyone on the island would hear what you're saying!"

Dang Sixth Sense

Dang that gut-feeling.... I knew someone was going to die.... I knew it! It just wasn't someone in my family.... it was President Hinckley.

When I heard President Hinckley passed away, my world just shattered....it went crashing down. He's the only Prophet I've ever known, and I can't imagine the church on the earth without him. I know President Monson (presumably) can do it just as well, but it was still heartbreaking, and I just can't see it at this point. That's where faith comes in, I guess.

I heard right before I went to dinner, and let me tell you, I didn't eat much. I just kind of sat there. It was so weird--no death has ever affected me that way before...not even when Nana hit the road unexpectedly. I was looking around the cafeteria at dinner, wondering how everyone could be so cheery when the Prophet of the Lord just left this world. For my own personal selfish reasons and the love that I have for President Hinckley, I could say I hate the world. I'm really upset/sad about all of it. But I know that, with the Lord in charge, there are no untimely deaths when it comes to His Prophets. And therefore, I try to look at this whole situation and say "hey, he's back with his wife, who he missed so much, and i'm sure he could not possibly be happier than he is at this moment."

Oh, and it didn't help that we had Stake Leadership Training tonight and the opening song was "We Thank Thee, O God, For a Prophet" and then when Brother Adams gave the invocation, I was definately crying because he was praying for the Prophet and his family and the Council of the 12 and the students and the members of the church and I just lost it--I couldn't help it. I bawl when people die. Thank goodness Elder Hemenway was the teacher in my workshop, and he spent tons of time going over the government of the church and things like that, as well as teaching his lesson. He does everything in such an awesome and spiritual, yet happy and joking manner.

I still hate that gut-feeling.

3rd Update Today

So I figured since I'm updating, I might as well make several posts, and divide them all by topic so that It's not one big huge long barfaroma.

First is one I think Emily will appreciate the most... I don't even really know why I'm posting this on my blog, except that it's absolutely fascinating and really really cool to me, yet completely 100% disgusting to most other "normal" people... anyways! So a few weeks ago, I got a zit on the side of my face, in front of my ear. As is my nature, I popped it and thoroughly enjoyed draining all the puss out of it. However, it never healed over and it started to hurt again recently, so late last week, I tried popping it again to see if there was still stuff in it. Well, yeah. There was. And when it exploded, it shot across the bathroom. It was spectacular! Seriously, there was stuff on the mirror and all over my fingers and everything; it was awesome except for this: it wasn't really puss....it was more blood than anything...kind of sticky blood/puss...and that was kind of disconcerting, but it was still really cool. Over the next day or two, that area got all raised and started coloring, basically ending up looking like a bruise on the side of my face....which is weird, because I got a mosquito bite on my left cheek at the same time, and it bruised for some weird reason, so it looked like I was a beaten woman. lol.

Last weekend (the first weekend back in Hawai'i), a bunch of my friends and I went up to Waimea Bay Beach Park to "celebrate" being back together and being in Hawai'i, because most of us hadn't been to the beach all week, and Waimea is one of the best. I don't think I need to let anyone know that I got sunburned.....pretty bad.....but it was all over the base tan that I already had, so guess what! It didn't even peel!!! I mean, it did a tiny bit, but not much! So now I have these crazy amazing DARK tan lines on my back, and I LOVE it. Not that sunburning is a good thing, but it's really exciting for me to have "actual" Hawai'i tan lines....like, I'm "tan" by mainland standards, but I'm a haole--I'm white! so I'm stoked about that.

Okay and I'm totally jealous of my mom right now, because she's in Salt Lake City, spending the entire week at the Genealogical Library!!! AHHHHHHh I wanted to go with her so bad! Dang school and expensive airfare between anywhere and Hawaii.... errrrrrrrrr! She has access to everything there without paying for it, and tons of books and things that are nowhere else!!!! I could go on and on forever..... Anyways, yes, I'm really really excited to hear what she finds while she's there....anxiously waiting.... and definately dedicated to spending a week in Salt Lake with her later this year when I get home.

The only other thing I really have to "report" on is that this entire week, I've been unexplainably feeling like poo....and not sick, either. It's just this random down-mood that gets me at the most inopportune moments... It hit me first Sunday, I was in a great mood and then all of the sudden, I just got really sullen and quiet and stuff, and I had no idea why.....and last time that happened was when someone in my family died and I hadn't been told about it yet.... so I started freaking out and called my mom and asked if anyone had died, and she said no..... and then yesterday, she asked if the feeling had gone away, and I realized it hadn't really....I hadn't really been thinking about it because I'd been doing school work and things, but i realized it was still there.... and last night it really had me, and I seriously can't figure it out, and it's really starting to scare me. I talked to Kimmie and she and I think it might just be because Avery's memorial service is this weekend, and even though I have seriously mixed feelings about that entire situation, it's still kinda something that gets to you, even if you don't like the guy.

Okay, I've spent far too long updating my blog and need to get working on my homework (yes, reading!) now, so hopefully from this point on, I can update my blog more often....I will have more things to say, and I still have more to catch up on and I need to talk stories more.

The Best Part(s)

The best part of coming back to Hawai'i was that, this time, I knew I was going somewhere I wanted to go. I feel so much more at home here and at peace here than I did last semester...I did love it, even though I didn't really know what I was doing, and I still don't, but this time around I'm here because I love it, not because I'm trying it out. Last semester, I flew between Hawai'i and the mainland twice....and both times when I returned to Hawai'i, it took me a few weeks to get back into the aloha groove. Both times I had a hard time getting back into a mindset where I was happy with my life...it always took me a while to start to feel at peace with being here....but I always did. This time, when I came back, I could say, right away, that I was home, and I jumped right back into everything....and it feels great. I am so excited about all of it...classes, basketball season, the beach, the culture, my friends, living in the hales, barefoot, geckos, everything!

My classes are: Introduction to Linguistics, World Religions, Choir, Contemporary Pacific Studies, Western Culture (Humanities) and History (World Civilizations to 1500).

I am in love with all of them, even though I'm going to read myself to death this semester... I am learning so many things that I've always wanted to learn. This semester, while knocking off some requirements for the General Ed and for the ICS degree, I'm also taking mostly classes that I WANT to take...I'm not really headed for a (specific) degree at this point--I'm just taking the classes I am interested in. As a result, I think I've discovered my major...TESOL. That is, Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages. I am still interested in ICS, so I might minor in that still, but TESOL is sounding really good to me at this point.

My least favorite class is Contemporary Pacific Studies, which is bizarre, because History has always been my least favorite subject....ALWAYS. Out of all the history classes I've ever taken, the only one I enjoyed for the content of the class was World History during my Junior Year of High School...but I thought I enjoyed that because it seemed like more of a religion class, and I've always had a fettish for learning the teachings of other religions. But this history that I'm in right now is FASCINATING....and that class and my humanities class are on the same schedule, so I'm learning about the same things at the same times, and it's awesome. For instance, we just finished learning Mesopotamia in both classes, but we learned things like the Epic of Gilgamesh and other literary/cultural works in Humanities, and in History we learned the kings and emperors and conquerors and developments. Now we're doing Egypt. It's way interesting because (this is the best part of my life right now; and as lame as that sounds, it's NOT!) in History, we are totally able to connect it all to the Old Testament, which is my absolute favorite stuff in the scriptures--I don't know why, but the Old Testament has always been my favorite. And I feel like I'm finally learning things that everyone else seems to already know....like what the heck the Rosetta Stone is, and just other random things about history that I never learned! Haha. Plus, I still adore Choir with Brother Ottley, and my World Religions class is wonderful as well--I am still obsessed with learning all about other beliefs. Linguistics may sound boring, but it's tons of fun and really interesting and great to talk about and informative/interesting, and best of all, the textbook is not boring! In fact, I think I only have one boring textbook this semester, and that's for CPS.